let my son feel less than anyone else.

So, I spent the night baking my famous pie. The next day, I secretly went to school to confront the teacher. She was completely stunned and said, “There’s no birthday today! Your son is outside with his friends, and he seems happy!” When I went outside, I was shocked to see him surrounded by friends, counting a stack of cash. He’d been selling slices of my pie for $4 each! Later, he admitted that he made up the story to raise money for a video game I’d said we couldn’t afford.

Now, I’m torn between being disappointed by his clever deception and proud of his entrepreneurial spirit.

Story 2:
My son is 4 years old. He didn’t speak for a long time, only using gestures to communicate. The doctors couldn’t figure out why, as all tests showed he was perfectly healthy. When he finally spoke, his first words were: “GET OFF.”

Story 3:
My mom was very strict when I was growing up. I remember one Monday when I didn’t want to go to kindergarten. She promised that if I went for just 5 days, I’d get 2 whole days off. I thought it was a great deal and went without any complaints.

Story 4:
I once found a fake mustache in my sister’s car. When I asked her about it, she calmly said she wears it sometimes when driving. I guess I have a pretty boring life!

Story 5:
I’m not normally squeamish. If I dropped something on the floor, I’d blow it off and eat it. When I had kids, I learned to control myself. But one day, we were sitting in the kitchen eating pie, and my daughter dropped a piece. My wife tried to pick it up, but my daughter shouted, “Mom, don’t touch it! It’s Dad’s piece now!”

Story 6:
We were expecting one child but ended up with twins. It was extremely challenging. They cried nonstop, especially at night.

One evening, after we finally got them to sleep, my husband went to the bathroom. I was sitting quietly in the kitchen, feeling thirsty. He came out of the bathroom and couldn’t find me. He checked the other rooms, but I wasn’t there either. He ran around the apartment in a panic, eventually turning on the kitchen light and exclaiming, “I thought you ran away! I was really scared. But honestly, I had no idea…”

Story 7:
When I was a kid, my dad always picked me up from kindergarten. I’ll never forget the time a man I didn’t recognize came to get me, and the teacher said he was my dad. But it wasn’t him! I cried and begged them not to let him take me. It wasn’t until he took me to my mother’s apartment that I realized it was my dad, but I didn’t recognize him without his mustache and beard.

Story 8:
I worked as a courier for an online store. It’s a decent job with lots of clients, but that’s not the point.

One day, my daughter had a lesson in kindergarten where the kids were asked what their parents did for a living. My daughter excitedly said, “My dad gives people some bags. They’re happy to get them and pay him for that.”

The teachers then decided to find out what these “bags of happiness” were that I was selling.

Story 9:
My wife was very sick one day with a high fever. Our 4-year-old daughter had never seen her parents unwell before, so she tried to get her mom up but couldn’t. She came to me and said, “Daddy, I’ve figured out she’s not pretending. It’s time to get a new mom.”

I explained to her that we’d have to stick with the current mom, but we’d have to fix her up a little.

Story 10:
My father once stole a bar of soap from the bathroom at my college. He said, “This place has to be useful for something.”

Story 11:
My husband sometimes talks in his sleep. When I ask him questions, he usually responds with nonsense. So one night, I decided to have some fun and asked him questions like, “Honey, do you love me?” to which he responded, “Yes, I love you.”

The next time, I asked, “John, who do you love?”
He replied, “Plastic.”
I asked, “What plastic?”
He answered, “Extruded polystyrene.”
I guess this is what happens when someone spends too much time doing renovations.

Story 12:
On our wedding day, my fiancé (now my husband) wrote this on a sky lantern: “Take her away. It’s the first time I’ve seen her.”